Saturday, September 23, 2023
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I knew Marlene for 40yrs. Today is the first day I have been able to look at her obituary. It has taken me 1 1/2 yrs since her passing to write about when I first found she had died and to write her a message.
When I found out that you had died . . .
Ache
All the air
Went out of the room
Taking the light with it
My heart suffocates
In the emptiness
Drowns in the dark
Drip Drip Drip
Each desolate moment
Oh Marlene … I was so little and Raw . . . If you hadn’t scooped me up in your arm’s figuratively and literally and loved me unconditionally, I never would have survived. I had nothing , I trusted no one , I was below
bottom. You provided a safe place and a safe person for me to talk to and so much more. You were the reason I hung on , just to get to be with you each day.
To be with someone who loved me . . . I had never had
that before. You listened to me , you heard me , you saw me , you believed me - you felt my fear my sorrow my desperation and how much I needed you …
You didn’t even pause. You just took me in and willed me , loved me into living. I clung to you and you held me up. I trusted you and you never betrayed me. When I truly could, when I learned how to love and I gave you my love. . .You received it , I had never had that either.
You loved me , wanted me and needed me for who I am… I had never had that. You saw me, you taught me how to love myself and others. The times I loved the most, that meant so much. . . those special moments when we would connect so deeply , just smiling and looking into each others eyes with nothing
between us but space , you in your chair , me on the couch , no walls up , no fear , completely open to each other loving unconditionally, trusting, seeing into our souls. . .who we really are . That kind of intimacy and
openness is so healing and feeds our souls. It was wonderful and so precious and will always be within me. I carry your love Marlene in my heart , in my soul ,
in my being and when I die I will take our love with me.
I know that love , real love we carry with us when we move on.
I am so blessed to have spent some of my life with
you . You and your love and guidance are the most pivotal turning time in my life . I am and will always be grateful . . That doesn’t even come close to what I feel for you or how important and cherished you are by me . Thank you isn’t enough . I give you my undying love for all eternity and beyond -
My dear dear Marlene
You make my heart smile . . Forever ,
renee
